Keep on Believing in Yourself

Because of my son's high scores on a test a college wrote us and suggested our twelve year old boy might be invited to study in a special advanced program for three weeks in the summer.  I was very excited and immediately called his counselor.
She responded by telling me not to expect him to be invited.  "Only very sophisticated children can leave home and study in a college far away from home.  etc. etc. etc."  I knew she was wrong but I just let her continue with her negative stance.
I knew my son and knew he could do it.  Sure enough he scored high enough on another test that qualified him to attend the college.  I never considered her opinion.  Nice lady that she was, I had better information about my son in my possession than she would ever have.
And I believed in him and knew he would succeed.  And he did.
So I suggest...if you know you can do something don't let anyone dissuade you.  Good luck.

Attitude

I had a friend who seemed to always be happy, always smiling and was pleasant to everyone. Hmmm I thought...doesn't she ever have any problems? Doesn't anything ever make her unhappy?

Then one day I knew of something that came into her life which was not pleasant. And yet, when I saw her she was smiling and pleasant as ever. It came to me then, the answer to my question.

It was not that she didn't have problems. She knew how to deal with them and then continue with her life. Her happiness came from within, not from without. It was a good philosopy.

Since that time I have read other accounts that stated the following: It is not what happens to you that determines your happiness; it is how you deal with what happens to you.

So I choose to be happy.

Nes

When my grandson was a toddler and answered questions with a positive answer he would say, “Nes”.  We laughed about it as it seemed a combination of no and yes.  After dwelling on it I started thinking…perhaps he is saying maybe.  I couldn’t be sure.  Eventually he learned to say yes in a manner that left no doubt as to what he meant.

Since then I’ve decided “nes” is not a bad idea.  When you want to say yes, but you have your doubts perhaps “nes” is the answer you really would like to utilize.  I think I shall keep that idea in my pocket and one day when I am asked a question and I am not sure how to answer I may just say, “nes”.

Stumbling, Fumbling and Bungling

 Stumbling, Fumbling, and Bungling Through Life…that is what my son told me I was doing with my life.  He felt that I planned nothing and attained nothing because of my lack of planning.  He’s an engineer and every facet of his life is planned. 

So I drew a chart and on one end I wrote extreme planner with characteristics of an obsessive compulsive personality.  On the other end of the continuum I wrote non-planner.  In the middle with varying degrees of both extremes I wrote such words as plans some, plans much and plans but appears not to be planning.  In other words, no visible signs of stress.  I pointed to this line of the continuum and said, “That is where I am.  It appears that I don’t plan, but I do and am flexible so that if it rains on the day of the scheduled picnic, I don’t go to pieces.  And I appear to be perfectly relaxed.  Find yourself on this scale,” I challenged him.

A Safety Net

The young girl was in the 8th grade when the supervisor of the program for economically needy students held his first meeting. He asked, “I want to hear your names and the future plans of each one of you.”

The answers varied a bit and were somewhat like the following: “I plan to join the Army.” “I want to go to the Jr. College.” “I want to get married and have children.” “I want to be a policeman.” And so it went until Jean answered, “I plan to drop out of school as soon as I can.”

“What?” The supervisor asked in a shocked tone of voice. You see one of the goals of his program was to aid these children by letting them earn some money in the summer while aiming high for their future. He took her aside and spoke with her and discouraged her from dropping out. It wasn’t easy.

He said, “Wait a while and let me see what we can do at your school.” He talked to the counselors and told them of the girl who wanted to drop out. “Let’s do all we can for her because I know she has the potential of being a contributing person in our community.” The counselors listened and accommodated the girl.

He kept up with her and in high school he talked to her about her future. “I still plan to drop out,” she told him. “Besides, I need money for high school and I don’t have it.”

“Wait a while,” he told her as he talked to the high school counselor about the girl. And then he did a remarkable thing. As a teacher he had a job as a sales clerk in the summers to supplement his income. He gave up his job so the girl could take his place and earn extra money and stay in school, and then he found another job for himself. Long story short, as they say. She graduated from high school and then from college and became a teacher, an excellent one.

And her mentor…he continued his life with his wife and children until one day he died. Few people outside the teaching community took note of his death.

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her Grave, and, Oh!
The difference to me.

Taken from “She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways” by Wm. Wordsworth

Angels

Not all angels have wings. My two sons were traveling on their bikes across Texas. One son was pulling a small trailer which held his pet dog, Raisin. His bicycle lost a spoke. Then they spotted two pitiful puppies by the side of the road. They were hungry and full of fleas and ticks. They picked up the pups and placed them with Raisin.

When they arived at the next town they went to a motel to spend the night. However, the motel room smelled and they couldn't stay there. A stranger approached them and after greeting them and finding out their problem asked them if they cared to spend the night in his backyard. My sons agreed. The man conversed with them further and then told them they could spend the night in his home. The boys accepted.

Thus began a pleasant evening with the stranger and his wife. Meanwhile our sons called us and told us of their predicament. The next day we drove to the town and met the folks who helped our offspring. I offered them a pumpkin cake I had made.

My husband and I met the angels and were surprised to find out they didn't possess wings.

Pain and Suffering

I read Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry. How sad I became when Gus McCrae died. I walked with my head facing the ground. If I found a pebble on the road in front of my home I kicked it. I forgot when it was time to fix dinner and was late in doing it.

“Why did Gus die?” I asked myself, “Why?” The children nudged one another at the dinner table. I looked at my plate and stirred the food around. Then absentmindedly I placed the dishes in the dishwasher.


The other part of my brain said, “It’s just a book. He is just a character.”
But why did he have to die…I kept asking. All to no avail. He was so kind to Lorena. Kind to the boy. Tough with mean folks. And reasonable with others. He took care of everyone.

Then Larry McMurtry came to town. No sooner had I settled in my seat in the small auditorium than a man raised his hand…”Why did you kill off Augustus McRae?” He asked.

The author answered something like, “It was time for him to go.” And then he opened his hands like there was no alternative. He didn’t feel the pain the man with the question felt or the ache in my heart. And time passed on.

However, that is when I learned this: to make a fictitious character real, the reader must hurt when the demise of the character occurs in the story.

And to this day, I still hurt.